Union. From our childhood, we all develop and grow a certain feeling and need for companionship. Someone… to love, share with, grow with and support each other through hell and high waters. We are all wired like that. That’s why from our adolescence stage onwards, we tend to make ourselves as sexual appealing as possible in order to bait that ideal mate. We chase, get chased, flirt and do some really crazy shit in order to net that special someone; a keeper. And when we do, that’s exactly what we toil to do… to keep!
However, often times relationships tend to get thorny. We put in so much effort in chasing and forget that retaining requires even more input. We argue, we fight, break hearts, get heart broken, immersed into murky waters to a point where we no longer see the vision that once was vivid. We buoy -unsure quite sunken, yet, not afloat either. That phase, especially after a huge fight, how to salvage or put back the pieces, is always the toughest. So how do we bounce back from a failing relationship? Easy… number one, communicate.
Nobody was made perfect, we all have our indifferences. Yet in every successful relationship that stood and overcame the ravages of time, the only thing that re-mediated the bleak status quo was and is communication. Talking is key. That’s what humans do. Whenever wronged or you notice your other half starting to develop a habit you may deem intolerable, talking it out should be the preferred channel. Talking is better than taking hits. You may be hurting simply because your mate is unaware of the harm they are inflicting. Thus, if you stay silent, how are things to get better? How is the other party supposed to change? When you are finally fed up, enraged and screaming? Good luck with that…
Personally, I believe that relationships, including an asexual one, is supposed to be bringing the best out of both parties and helping them improve on every aspect… constantly. Mentally, physically, financially, psychologically and spiritually. One should constantly be pointing and helping to eradicate the other’s flaws. That is, if indeed, the subject of your bondage is love. Meaning that if you are to have a meaningful relationship with happiness and longevity, changes are imminent.
Although currently, ego is the number one killer of relationships. Lacking a platform to air grievances comes with the territory of dating a mumpsimus. People that are self-absorbed and opinionated can never admit when they are wrong. The Pharaoh-hearted, ego-centric who believe that being right always is their hereditary prerogative. Living with such lasses can be a pain in the arse thus making walking away, again, imminent.
However, for someone that is willing to flex their rigid frame for the sake of a relationship deserves a second chance. If a relationship still has a breath of air in it, or even a slightest pulse, then CPR it. Salvage and work to building better versions of yourselves… together. It requires a lot of faith and patience in helping a person work on eliminating a negative habit, but if love is the price, then all damn worth it!
We should all have that fight in us. The patience to seeing others out of their miseries. Forgiveness is key and that is what strengthens the bond. Fighting together and coming out together.
After every huge fight between couples, walking away becomes anyone’s right, but, simply because it can be exercised, doesn’t necessarily mean that things can’t be worked out. There is no exact way of knowing a relationship has outlived its shelf-life, but when it does, you just know. But if there is even the slightest chance of revival, I’d suggest that you put your mouth-guard back on, and get back into the ring. Fight for what’s right, not whose wrong…
Forsky is a a photogwriter. A passionate word artist and in-house photographer at Tsavo Media Group. A laid back story teller, of people’s lives, societal issues and he equally pen’s viewpoints base on his personal life.